Parenting is hard and you know that adoptive parenting is harder. You’re completely dedicated to taking great care of your kids, and you have the reading list to prove it (and maybe the therapist bills, too!)
And, to your great heartbreak, it’s not enough… Your kid is struggling and you are struggling with your kid.
You can’t seem to get out of the vicious cycle of scary behaviors, yelling, hurt feelings, and slammed doors. You and your partner are even fighting about fighting with the kids. Schoolwork isn’t getting done. And chores? Forget about it.
Secretly, you wonder if there is something wrong. You know that attachment is so important and you’re scared that the one you share isn’t strong enough. Or maybe you’re just not cut out for being an adoptive parent… But how can that be true if you love them with all your heart?
There is a way to figure out how to address this behaviour that doesn’t involve time-outs, star charts or any more yelling.
I can help you figure out what is really going on inside your adopted child so you can respond to those keep-you-up-all-night upsetting behaviors in ways that calm your kid — and create a deeper connection between you and them.
Then I can help you get into the lead, with your child willingly listening to you and following you (really!!). You’ll feel at peace knowing you’ve set your kid on the path to a healthy, independent, happy adulthood.
I get your fear. I get how hard this is for you.
When I first became a mom, I was determined to parent differently than I had been parented. At the time, I had no idea what that meant or how it looked. So for over 20 years, I’ve obsessively studied parenting through the lenses of child development and attachment so that I could be the parent I want to be and the parent my kids need.
When our daughter joined our family through adoption, I knew from all my studying and personal experience that her attachment to us would be crazy important. But I was completely blindsided by the heartbreaks, the complexities, and the additional (and often invisible) needs that come with adoption.
So I hunted down experts and resources and learned everything I could.
(That's what parenting is all about!)
I know what to look for and how to see what’s really going on. And I know how to find peace, even in the inevitable storms that come with raising a child.
Word spread, and for years I’d get calls from other parents, asking, “How do you do it?” and “how can I do what you’re doing??” I realised that the years of studying and experience put me in the perfect position to save other adoptive parents years of heartache, and I became a coach.
Together, we’ll get you from confused, lost, and scared to peacefully confident that you’ve set your child on the path to a healthy, independent adulthood, in a household that feels harmonious.
(Seriously, I’ve read books from the Middle Ages that say, “kids these days…”) Part of knowing they are doing well is seeing them venture out on their own, engage in the world, and take some risks. But my clients leave our sessions with the tools to handle anything their kids throw at them and come through with everyone feeling stronger and more connected.
During our sessions, we’ll delve deep into your kids world, from their history to your family dynamics. I’ll be here not just to listen to your worries but also to help you build a toolkit for how to address them in a way that works for your whole family.
I’ll equip you with personalized techniques for your family situations, and problem-solve this week’s challenges, all with time to celebrate progress and generous sprinklings of laughter — because, really, if we can’t laugh through the hurricane that is parenting, where would we be?
Our sessions will take you from exhausted, scared, and struggling, to feeling fully in charge, connected, and confident.
(Even during Covid 🤭😷 )
We’ll meet weekly, covering 12 weekly curriculum+coaching sessions. This is where you’ll start to learn the theories and science of what’s going on, and how to apply it to your circumstances. Every session, we’ll review the previous week’s parenting challenges and then problem-solve. You will be practicing your new skills in real time, with me close at hand to support you.
You’ll have 3 months of coaching+integration sessions that taper from every-other-week to monthly as your confidence grows. I will be lovingly monitoring how it’s going, to make sure I am there to give you the guidance you need when you need it.
Every call includes problem solving and coaching to bring you connection and relief in your parenting.
1) Parenting your adopted child seems breathtakingly difficult right now. And 2) YOU CAN DO THIS!
Imagine getting through the day with no yelling or screaming. Maybe even laughing joyfully with your kids! And all the while, confident you’re guiding them on the path to a healthy, independent, happy adulthood. It is possible, and I’d love to help you get there.
Ready to sleep easy at night knowing your kid is going to be okay?
Since working with Sara I feel significantly calmer and more confident in my parenting. She offered support that was individualized to the specific dynamics of personalities of both myself and my child. Instead of leaving me lost in well-intended theory, she helped anchor into the tangible day to day parenting actions that promote healthy attachment all the while helping me to understand my child’s current developmental needs and capabilities.Devon
One of the many great things about Sara is how open-hearted she is. I know that I can talk to hear about difficult issues and will not be judged, only supported.Nikki
Sara Cole is the real deal!Rebecca
