Taking your parenting from painful to peaceful

You’re an adoptive parent and you love and adore your kid. You’re so grateful they joined your family.

Parenting is hard and you know that adoptive parenting is harder. You’re completely dedicated to taking great care of your kids, and you have the reading list to prove it (and maybe the therapist bills, too!) 

And, to your great heartbreak, it’s not enough… Your kid is struggling and you are struggling with your kid.

You can’t seem to find a way to get along as a family.

You can’t seem to get out of the vicious cycle of scary behaviors, yelling, hurt feelings, and slammed doors. You and your partner are even fighting about fighting with the kids. Schoolwork isn’t getting done. And chores? Forget about it.

Secretly, you wonder if there is something wrong. You know that attachment is so important and you’re scared that the one you share isn’t strong enough. Or maybe you’re just not cut out for being an adoptive parent… But how can that be true if you love them with all your heart?

Can I tell you something?
It doesn’t have to be like this.

There is a way to figure out how to address this behaviour that doesn’t involve time-outs, star charts or any more yelling.

I can help you figure out what is really going on inside your adopted child so you can respond to those keep-you-up-all-night upsetting behaviors in ways that calm your kid — and create a deeper connection between you and them.

Then I can help you get into the lead, with your child willingly listening to you and following you (really!!). You’ll feel at peace knowing you’ve set your kid on the path to a healthy, independent, happy adulthood.

Do you do any of these?

  • lay awake at night worrying your adopted kid won’t be okay?

  • feel scared about your kid’s yelling, screaming, hitting, lying, disrespect, sneaking, refusals to do any school or house work at all?

  • follow the advice of doctors, therapists, teachers only to find nothing is better — or maybe it’s even worse?

  • collapse into bed every night, exhausted and burned out?

  • find yourself heartbroken by the vicious sibling rivalry that plays out in your home everyday?

  • feel lonely because other parents (and most professionals!) don’t get the depth of your struggles - or don’t believe you when you tell them how hard it is?

  • get blamed for your kids’ struggles because outside of your home your kid “seems fine”?

  • feel hopeless because you simply don’t know what to do anymore?

I’m Sara Cole and I believe that when it comes to your kid, you are the expert.

You are their best bet for health and success in life — and with a little guidance, you’ll find that you already have the answers for how best to support them.

I get your fear. I get how hard this is for you. 

When I first became a mom, I was determined to parent differently than I had been parented. At the time, I had no idea what that meant or how it looked. So for over 20 years, I’ve obsessively studied parenting through the lenses of child development and attachment so that I could be the parent I want to be and the parent my kids need.

When our daughter joined our family through adoption, I knew from all my studying and personal experience that her attachment to us would be crazy important. But I was completely blindsided by the heartbreaks, the complexities, and the additional (and often invisible) needs that come with adoption.

So I hunted down experts and resources and learned everything I could.

Thanks to what I learned, even when things get rough with my kids... I know how to help them.

(That's what parenting is all about!)

I know what to look for and how to see what’s really going on. And I know how to find peace, even in the inevitable storms that come with raising a child.

Word spread, and for years I’d get calls from other parents, asking, “How do you do it?” and “how can I do what you’re doing??” I realised that the years of studying and experience put me in the perfect position to save other adoptive parents years of heartache, and I became a coach.

My family!

Now, I help adoptive parents like you.

Together, we’ll get you from confused, lost, and scared to peacefully confident that you’ve set your child on the path to a healthy, independent adulthood, in a household that feels harmonious.

most of the time. Let’s be real: kids are kids and there will always be something hard to deal with.

(Seriously, I’ve read books from the Middle Ages that say, “kids these days…”) Part of knowing they are doing well is seeing them venture out on their own, engage in the world, and take some risks. But my clients leave our sessions with the tools to handle anything their kids throw at them and come through with everyone feeling stronger and more connected.

Imagine if you could…

  • laugh and play with your kids everyday
  • feel confident that you’re parenting in a way that supports your kids to grow into empowered, thoughtful, caring adults
  • sleep peacefully at night knowing you did your best for your kids that day
  • approach the next inevitable crisis with your kid knowing not just that it’s going to be okay, but that even through this, they are learning and growing AND overall doing great

I would love to help you.

During our sessions, we’ll delve deep into your kids world, from their history to your family dynamics. I’ll be here not just to listen to your worries but also to help you build a toolkit for how to address them in a way that works for your whole family.

There’ll be some science, too:
I’ll show you the core pillars of child development, but I’ll also explain how these apply to your particular child, and how knowing about them can support you as a parent.

My work is extremely practical.

I’ll equip you with personalized techniques for your family situations, and problem-solve this week’s challenges, all with time to celebrate progress and generous sprinklings of laughter — because, really, if we can’t laugh through the hurricane that is parenting, where would we be? 

Our sessions will take you from exhausted, scared, and struggling, to feeling fully in charge, connected, and confident.

You can work with me anywhere (and there are bonuses awesome bonuses)!

(Even during Covid 🤭😷 )

How I work

We’ll meet on Zoom in one hour sessions for six months.

During our first three months:

We’ll meet weekly, covering 12 weekly curriculum+coaching sessions. This is where you’ll start to learn the theories and science of what’s going on, and how to apply it to your circumstances. Every session, we’ll review the previous week’s parenting challenges and then problem-solve. You will be practicing your new skills in real time, with me close at hand to support you.

After that:

You’ll have 3 months of coaching+integration sessions that taper from every-other-week to monthly as your confidence grows. I will be lovingly monitoring how it’s going, to make sure I am there to give you the guidance you need when you need it. 

Every call includes problem solving and coaching to bring you connection and relief in your parenting.

Bonuses you get when we work together!

  • A developmental timeline, personalized for your child to help you understand what your child missed and what they need
  • Links to tips, tools, techniques, videos, and other resources specific to your challenges so that you can look them over in your own time, practice new ideas, and come back to them the next time a challenging situation arises
  • Weekly check-in forms to help track your learning and progress so that you refine your understanding of the challenges and goals AND so that we can notice and celebrate progress
  • Text, email, or phone support between sessions for times when the going gets rough — I’ve got you.

If you’ve read this far, I feel certain of two things:

1) Parenting your adopted child seems breathtakingly difficult right now. And 2) YOU CAN DO THIS!

You clearly have a big heart and a huge drive to do the best for your kids! There IS a way out of the hardship you’re in, and I’d love to help you get back to the light.

Imagine getting through the day with no yelling or screaming. Maybe even laughing joyfully with your kids! And all the while, confident you’re guiding them on the path to a healthy, independent, happy adulthood. It is possible, and I’d love to help you get there.

Ready to sleep easy at night knowing your kid is going to be okay?

This is Sara Cole, Parent Coach for Adoptive Kids

Let’s talk! Schedule a free, no-obligation 50 minute call to talk about what’s going on.

Schedule a call here

Ready to enjoy parenting your kids again?

Schedule a free 50 minute call to talk about what’s going on (no obligation, really, I promise).


Looking forward to talking with you soon!

Big hugs,